Why I Don’t Write

I wrote a blog entry a few weeks ago about ‘Why I Write‘. Now, I want to talk somewhat about why I don’t write. By that I mean, I write but I don’t write nearly as much as I would like. I would like to write everyday.

If I want to write everday, why don’t I?

When I sit down and think about the reasons why I don’t write, I think there are a few reasons why.

I feel scared that my writing is not good enough.
I know that this is an unreasonable reason not to write. My writing is my writing and I can only do my best.

I feel like because I am not making any money from my writing, it’s not a worthwhile endeavor.
This is an unreasonable reason not to write because if I am writing and enjoying myself, then that is what matters. It doesn’t matter that I am not making money and making a career out of my writing. What matters is that I have fun with it. I think ultimately this has to do with my guilt associated with my writing instilled in to me by my parents when I was a teenager.

Also, I have talked about this before in my To Delete or Not To Delete post about how I once felt guilty over my writing because of the LGBT nature of almost all of my writing. Now, I once physically destroyed some of my writing over my guilt. Now, I have not gone to that extreme in a very long time but I don’t write as much as I used to and I feel that that has to do with a small sense of guilt.

I am reading through self-help books and reading online as well to work through my guilt issues.

So my goal for this November is to write everyday. Even if it is just a sentence or a paragraph. A secondary goal is to learn to feel happy and wonderful and super and all other positive feelings about my writing.

So, over the last few weeks, part of my NanoPrep has been soul searching in a way as to why I write and my writing life in general.

But even so, I still do not why I don’t write more. The pleasure I get from writing is more than the unreasonably negative reasons why I don’t. I had a writing challenge fulfill the other day and I waited until the last day of the challenge. But when I started writing, I had such fun with it and even while I was writing it, I was thinking, “Why am I not writing more often. This is so much fun.”

But alas, as I have rambled long enough, I leave with you a wish for best of luck for a truly wonderful National Novel Writing Month to come.

Happy Writing,
Jeremy 🙂

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Write

  1. I think we writers all struggle with the reasons you gave. If I wrote as much as I didn’t write I don’t think there would any clean paper left in the world. As for the guilt over your topic of choice and whether it is worth the time investment. I too suffer this. Only its guilt about not spending time doing things that need doing.
    Best of luck with your writing goals. And someone, somewhere, needs to read your words to inspire them. Cheers, james

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it’s fantastic that you’re taking the time to think about your reasons for not writing as often as you’d like. The only way to correct something is to first identify what it is. You’ll be writing daily in no time. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I deal with the same guilt about writing for myself instead of to get published. I have keep reminding myself that it’s okay to not write with the end goal being a Career. Every time I get anxious I have to remember, I have permission (given by myself, lol) to write for the pleasure of it. Good luck this November!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s