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Nanowrimo 2020 – Day 16

Today as you know is Monday, November 16th. We have hit the halfway point and are now on the downward side of the Nanowrimo roller coaster!

I slept for a better part of the day but that’s okay. My body obviously needed it if I was able to sleep that much. I feel good right now. I am taking a break from going through things and making an effort to downsize for my move in a few months.

Yes my move is still a few months away but I really need to start working on this now because if I let it get down to the wire, I will be freaking out way to much then.

As for Nanowrimo and my writing this month. It has not gone the way that I had planned whatsoever. I am trying to rework things and refocus but I just can’t seem to get a grasp. I have lost a lot of motivation in my work and belief in myself in the process.

I told myself that I wouldn’t let myself get down this month. I would have fun writing and not let negativity get in the way. But alas, negativity has managed to seep its way in as it normally always does.

Last year during Nanowrimo, I was moving into my apartment and that was the reason why it was so hectic last year. This year, midway through Nano, I get a lease renewal from my apartment complex stating that I can renew for anywhere from 8 months to 14 months. I was expecting to have at least a 3 month option because I needed that time to pay my car off. I can do 3 months but it would have to be on a month-to-month basis and it would increase my rent $210 a month plus a $300 month-to-month fee. That’s ridiculous.

I cannot afford that.

But Amanda and Scott have told that I can stay with them for a bit if I need to and that helps. I can stay with them and I won’t have the almost $900 a month rent cost and I can pay my car off that much earlier.

So it is all going to work out.

I was stressed beyond measure on Friday and then yesterday was almost just as bad. Today has been better and it is looking up as the day goes on as well.

Getting rid of books and downsizing is feeling good because it doesn’t mean that I can never buy some of the books again but I could always buy some on my kindle instead.

I would like to go on ahead and get all the boxes out of the closet today and finish getting the closet cleaned out. That would be a large, encouraging accomplishment today.

But we shall see how the day goes on!

How are you doing this month? How’s it going for you this month? Let me know in the comments section below!

Posted in #nanowrimo, challenges, Daily Journal, Journal, nanoprep, nanowrimo, Nanowrimo Tips, reading, thoughts, Uncategorized, work thoughts, writing

NanoWriMo 2020 – Day 8

What can I say? This month is seriously not going the way that I had planned it would. I spent my birthday alone. I haven’t had all that much energy and motivation to get writing done. I have just been in a complete and utter funk!

I think, being off tomorrow, I am going to pretend that tomorrow is my birthday and have a redo of sorts for it. I refuse to let my birthday be a bad memory in my mind. I know things are not as bad as they seem and i will not let the day of my birthday be a bad memory.

I’m going to Mom and Dad’s today for dinner and then after that, I am going to go for a drive. It’ll be dark by the time that I leave their house so I may or may not stop and get some writing done.

With everything going on with the election, it may not be advisable to be sitting, even in my own car out in public, and writing at night by myself. People are acting a little bit crazy at the moment. I’m hopeful that it won’t last but we shall see!

I would like to shoot for a 5k day today and tomorrow and that would totally put me back on track for the month. Today is going to be a planning and organizing day. If I want to write 5k tomorrow, I really need to focus on what I want to write. Even if it is garbage and won’t see the light of day after the month is over, I still need to have a plan.

But that is a good point to make. Anything I write, it can be total garbage and never come out of it’s little corner of my computer. I don’t have to write perfectly this month. Nothing about Nanowrimo or writing in general says it has to be perfect. Sure at some point, when I might want to publish, it should be perfect or as damn well close to it but for now, during this month, it’s about having fun. It’s about doing something that I enjoy.

That’s what I really need to remember. I don’t need to let myself get bogged down in the perfection of it all but need to focus on getting words down on paper. I mean, who knows, if i write something that at the moment may seem like garbage, it could turn out to be a spark of inspiration for something amazing on down the line!

Its hard to believe that it is only the 8th of November and I am already having such a hard time with energy and motivation. All the Nanoers from the past events have said that it’s usually during the 2nd week that you deal with burnout and slumps and such.

So why have I been dealing with this so much during week 1?

How was week 1 for you? Are you finding this Nanowrimo different that Nano in the past? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below!

Happy Nanoing!

Posted in #nanowrimo, challenges, Daily Journal, Journal, nanoprep, nanowrimo, Nanowrimo Tips, reading, thoughts, work thoughts, writing

Nanowrimo 2020 – Day 3

So Day 3 absolutely did not go the way I had planned. I good intentions of coming home from work yesterday and getting some good writing but that didn’t happen. I came home, ate dinner and then wound up falling asleep.

I’d had a goal yesterday of 2,000 words but I wound up only writing 27 words for the day.

But I am not going to let it get me down. I am not going to let it get me discouraged. I am just going to stay positive and keep moving forward. I have a shorter shift at work today and I think after work I am going to go to the library and do some writing there where it’s less distracting.

If I write 2,600 words today and tomorrow, then I can catch back up. That’s not as overwhelming as the 3,523 words I would need to write today alone to catch just today and I would still need to meet my 1,667 words tomorrow.

But today is a new day and I am going to get some writing done.

Happy Nanoing Everyone!

Posted in #nanowrimo, challenges, Journal, nanoprep, nanowrimo, Preptober, thoughts, work thoughts, writing

Nanowrimo 2020 – Day 2

This month is definitely not going how I planned for it to. One of the girls who works in my department came into work today with a 101 fever. After going to the department, about 15 minutes later she decides to get with management and they take her temp and send her home with requirements to get a Covid test.

Now, upon speaking to the assistant store manager, I find out that she has to get a test but it is her choice whether or not to share the results with the store. It’s confidential. How does that make any sense. I would imagine if she doesn’t give up results, she would not be allowed to return to work.

I have to go in today on my day off to cover her shift and I am a nervous, anxious wreck. I’m going to go in and clean clean clean but still, she shouldn’t have come in in the first place knowing she had a fever before she left her house.

It’s all just a bunch of bullshit.

I don’t understand why I have to work with so much incompetency. You’re sick, DO NOT COME TO WORK!!! Why is that so hard for some people to grasp? She doesn’t want to work anyways so take the opportunity to stay the hell at home.

It’s getting harder and harder to do my job because I have to hand hold and shit. Management above me is no help.

Really not having a good month so far. I hope it gets better. I really do because I cannot deal with these headaches much longer.

I’m glad that I am off on Thursday, MY B-DAY YAY!! I am not going anywhere near work and they can all kiss my ass.

How’s the month going for you so far? Let me know in the comments section below!

Posted in #nanowrimo, 4thewords, challenges, Daily Journal, Journal, MM romance, nanoprep, nanowrimo, Nanowrimo Tips, Preptober, thoughts, writing, writing tips

Day 1 – The End

How did Day 1 go for everyone? Did you get some words written? Did you meet the official goal 1,667 words for the day? Did you meet a personal goal that you set for yourself for the day?

Did you fall short of your personal goal for the day like I did? I set a goal of 3,334 words for today because I wanted to be a day ahead but I wound up only hitting the 1,667 words for the day with a little cheating because I added 600 words to my Nano progress just before midnight and finished the last 600 words I needed for Day 1 after midnight.

But that’s okay. It’s perfectly fine to be a rebel. This month is like stepping off a space ship onto a strange and mysterious new planet. We are in times of change that we have never really experienced before. Covid and all has placed us in a new era of exploration. We have to learn how to cope with social distancing but still find new and interesting ways to come together as a community.

That’s why I am thankful for challenges such as Nanowrimo because we already have a nice little community set up online and then we can use that backbone to expand and grow as a virtual community and family.

Don’t get discouraged if you didn’t meet your goals for the day. The month has just started and tomorrow is a new day! Wake up with a fresh and revigorated sense of creativity and purpose!

Remember: YOU GOT THIS! Stay positive and keep moving forward!

Posted in #nanowrimo, 4thewords, challenges, MM romance, nanoprep, nanowrimo, thoughts, writing, writing tips

NanoWriMo 2020 – Day 1

So far today is not going exactly how I had planned. I did get some writing done at midnight but only 357 words. It was a good start to get me on the way to the daily goal but it’s almost noon now and I have been up since 7:30am and have only managed to write another 179 words.

I am doing my very best to stay positive and not get discouraged so soon in the month. That’s not going to do any good.

People say week 2 is when you’re supposed to hit a slump. I cannot hit it already. I refuse to fall into an anxiety abyss!

I’m glad that I am off tomorrow so that I can stay up a bit later tonight to get as much out of day 1 as I can. I would like to strive for a goal of 3,334 words today. That would put me a day ahead.

I’m not sure how that is going to go. I have a few different story ideas that I am working on so that I can jump around to hopefully not hit burn out but again, not sure how things are going t o go.

My stomach is starting to hurt a little bit. Probably the coffee that I have been drinking since early this morning. I need to remember that coffee is a dehydrator and I also need to balance out the coffee intake with water intake.

But I did get a new water bottle and I will be filling that with delicious ice water before I head out here in a bit to run errands.

How is Day 1 going for you? Are you hitting your personal goals? Let me know what’s going on for you in the comments section below!

Posted in #nanowrimo, 4thewords, BEDS, challenges, Daily Journal, Journal, nanoprep, nanowrimo, Nanowrimo Soundtrack, Nanowrimo Tips, Preptober, reading, thoughts, work thoughts, writing, writing tips

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

So yes, this post is going up a little after midnight and that technically makes it Wednesday but I still might have a Wednesday post so I’m just going to put down Tuesday.

Still dealing with pain on and off from the kidney stones. Got tomorrow off work and then I go back on Thursday. I’m not wanting to go back, that’s for sure but I think too much time on my hands has not been all that good for me.

I’ve found that my anxiety and depression has been harder to deal with having so much alone time and being stuck in my own head. I keep telling myself that I just need to focus on writing or reading or something else fun and entertaining and then I won’t be focusing on the unhappy thoughts that creep in at times.

I keep telling myself that but no matter how often I tell myself that, I still find myself falling. Then once I fall, I have such a hard time getting back up and out of the dark hole I fall into.

One thing I do find that I can do is reset the next day. 9 times out of 10, after a night’s sleep, when I wake up the next morning, I am easily able to let the stresses of the previous day go and move forward. Now if I could just find a way to do that on a dime and not have to go an entire day in a dark hole and pick myself up quicker.

Do you deal with stress, anxiety and or depression? How do you cope with the negative thoughts that sometimes might seep into your brain? I’d love to hear your thoughts on processes! Let me know in the comments section below!

Today’s stresses were nonsense. My local pharmacy filled my pain killer prescription from the doctor on Friday. They only filled 20 of the 30 pills and I was told that if I needed the other 10, there would be no problem getting it filled. Today, I get a text message from them saying that I can have it filled and I reply with a yes to fill. I figure that there wouldn’t be a problem. 30 minutes later and I am getting a call from the pharmacist and she says she doesn’t feel comfortable filling the prescription.

First off, let me say, it was not a narcotic, nor was it habit forming. It is basically a high dose NSAID (think Aleve but a bit stronger!). If she had just told me that she had to get it authorized, that would have been fine but telling me that she personally does not feel comfortable, that’s not appropriate. Who else is she telling that to? What other meds does she not feel comfortable filling?

I wound up going up to the pharmacy and talking to her and I was brutally honest. I work for the company the pharmacy is in. I really don’t think she wants me to inform the district manager that she is taking it upon her personal feelings to fill meds or not!

Anywho, I got it taken care of but it was just stress that I did not need today.

I spent Monday in a funk because of my anxiety and I wound up staying up late Monday night playing an old video game I hadn’t played in probably 20 years. *Zelda, A Link to the Past*

I woke up Tuesday and had planned on having a better day and then to have that headache with the pharmacy, it was just not needed. I wound up going to Dairy Queen, getting tacos and then coming home, eating and then going to bed.

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day! I think if I have to just stay home and away from others, I will do that. I can keep in touch with people that are important through social media and whatnot easily enough.

Well, this has gone a bit longer than I expected so I think I am going to get something to eat and then go to bed for the night!

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Posted in #nanowrimo, 4thewords, BEDS, challenges, Daily Journal, Journal, nanoprep, nanowrimo, Nanowrimo Soundtrack, Nanowrimo Tips, Preptober, thoughts, writing, writing tips

Monday, October 12, 2020

Today is a beautiful day! Yeah I’m still suffering from the kidney stones but I am using the time away from work to also be productive! Last night I went to the local community college and sat in the parking lot with my Alphasmart.

Yeah, you heard me right. I actually sat in the parking lot. It was late in the evening, around 6:30 when I got there and I stayed for about an hour, until it got too dark and I had to turn on my overhead lamp to use my Alphasmart but it was a productive hour.

I got about 225 words written/planned/plotted. I got down some questions I need to answer to get myself moving in the right direction for my story.

But I think the best thing about it was my wonderful boyfriend. He’s a big music man. I asked him to send me links to YouTube for easy listening instrumental music for a playlist I am going to use next month during Nanowrimo and wonderful as he is, he has already started sending me links!

If anyone is interested in checking out my playlist, you can find it HERE!

It’s currently 10:24AM here and I am about to get a shower and get dressed and head out towards my parent’s house. I need to drop a few things off with Mom but then I think if the park isn’t busy in their town, I will stop off there and do some writing. It really is such a lovely day out today!

I might even go for a walk. The docs did say that walking more would help with the kidney stones so I might just do that. Get some writing done and then go for a little walk before heading back towards home!

But instead of sitting here talking about what I’m going to do, I’m going to get off my butt and get in gear to go do all the things!

Have a wonderful Monday everyone!!

Posted in #nanowrimo, 4thewords, challenges, Daily Journal, Journal, MM romance, nanoprep, nanowrimo, Nanowrimo Tips, Preptober, reading, thoughts, work thoughts, writing, writing tips

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Let’s hope that next month goes better than this month! Yesterday I spent a better part of mid day at the hospital. Kidney stones! Oh boy! Hopefully the pain meds make it bearable.

I’m getting some time off work because of it. I’m off all weekend. I had already scheduled time off for Monday thru Wednesday, so now I’m getting 5 days off in a row. I was wishing for some extended time off but not having to deal with kidney stones during it would be great!

But it’s all good. As long as the pain is manageable, I’m going to use this time to get stuff planned out and ready for Nanowrimo.

I had initially thought to work on the biker fic I had initially started back in one of the camps this year but with a total rewrite. I’d keep the original draft around for inspiration and to remember what initially drew me to the story in the first place but it would be a complete redo.

But now I am thinking of being a rebel and not just working on that fic but also on some fan fiction as well.

I came across some old Buffy The Vampire Slayer stories featuring Angel/Xander the other day and it got me feeling nostalgic about my fan fiction days. So I might work on some fan fic as a side story during Nano also. May help with the burn out feelings I get usually mid way through the month.

Well the doctor wants me up and active so I think I am going to get a shower and then head to the park for a walk to get my thoughts and creativity going to get my plans in order for Nano!

Happy Weekend Everyone!

Posted in #nanowrimo, 4thewords, challenges, Daily Journal, Journal, nanoprep, nanowrimo, Nanowrimo Tips, Preptober, reading, thoughts, work thoughts, writing, writing tips

Preptober – Day 3

It’s a beautiful day here. It’s currently only 65 degrees. If it would stay that cool all day it would be amazing! But we’re only looking at a forecast high of 83. So that’s not too bad.

Not sure what I am going to do after work. I did start watching season 10 of The Walking Dead last night. The new episodes start back up tomorrow.

It’s funny. My ex was in love with the walking dead and I got into because of him and since our break up, I have not watched a single episode until last night when I saw ads for the new episodes.

I liked it when I got into it. I stopped watching because of our break up. Now though, I am realizing that I need to take back things that I ENJOYED but have stopped doing because they bring up bad memories of our relationship. I CANNOT let him and our past relationship dictate how I live my life now.

This is also true for my current relationship and my future in general. I cannot let his actions dictate how I feel about me and mine now. I am stronger than he ever gave me credit for and I am going to do my best to remember that going forward.

Tomorrow I am going to go to the cafe that I like over in Plano and sit outside and do some writing. I might take my Alphasmart also or instead of Chromebook. I love my Chromebook. It is definitely portable and all as it’s so lightweight but with it having internet, I find myself so easily distracted.

I might look into apps that might be able to disable some of the functionality while I write so that I can’t be distracted by mindlessly web browsing when I should be writing.

How is preptober going for you? Are you planning for Nano? Will you just be flying by the seat of your pants? Let me know in the comments section below!

Happy Writing!